White People Staying Silent are Part of the Problem

Written By Shaunna Lee

“If you are silent right now, as you continue to witness human life being

taken by those who are sworn to "serve and protect”…


 If you are neutral in situations of injustice,

you have chosen the side of the oppressor.


Until those who are unaffected are as outraged

as those who are, justice will not be served.


If your response is "I see no color",

instead of "I am aware of my privilege.

I'm doing my best to understand how to address this."


I wrote an entire blog post in response to those things I’ve heard and read, but then I read KatyKatiKate’s post.  And wow.  She was right.  What I had written was all about me.  How I’m not one of those silent white women.  

So what can we do?  Here is a summary of what she shared. Say: I’m sorry or I see you or That’s awful.

Doesn’t feel sufficient, does it?  That’s because it isn’t. 

She concludes her post to say:

There’s only one way to respond.

Watch. Read. Listen. Learn. Let it chill you.

Do not respond instinctively, but do not turn away.

It’s not about you, but you must be here to experience it.

You’re not the martyr, nor an innocent, nor the hero, nor the teacher.

You’re a witness. It’s not about you, but you must be present.

Do not respond like you always have. Not yet. Absorb it. Let it change you.

When I admit just how appalled I am that George Floyd was choked to death by a police officer kneeling on his throat, it’s as if I’m saying I haven’t seen that this sort of thing has been happening for years. Forever. Always. That’s the thing.  I haven’t.  I still can’t bring myself to watch the video.  Knowing about what happened to him is enough. I don’t have to watch him die to know that he should still be here and that he was murdered.  I don’t have to see the video with my own eyes to know his family mourns their loss with a certain amount of “here we are again” that I have the audacity to be shocked by.  

When I learned that moms are raising their black sons differently than I am raising mine, it was surprising.  The fact that parents are teaching their black sons how to walk down the street and make other people more comfortable is just not right. The fact that they are specifically sitting down to have “the talk” and my realizing it has nothing to do with sex, but rather are teaching their sons how to interact with police not if, but when they are stopped for doing nothing wrong.  Parents are having these conversations with their babies.  Small little boys from such a young age are being taught how to simply survive with dark skin in 2020.  This makes my heart break for them and their mamas. It makes me feel … helpless. But what about them?

I’m American.  That’s it.  No culture to speak of.  No heritage to celebrate.  But I’ve had privilege that allowed me to walk into any store, walk down any street and interact with any person and no one is scared of me.  No one feels threatened by me.  I’ve only been pulled over by the police when I was actually breaking the law - speeding, expired registration, running a stop sign. You know what happens 90% of the time?  I get a warning.  White girls who smile pretty and are polite are let go with a warning. I don’t have to get out of my car.  I’m not handcuffed.  I’m not shoved face down onto the hood of my car. I can reach in my glove box without having to say what I’m doing first.  The police officer won’t pull his gun when I reach in my purse for my ID.  

I also have had the extreme white privilege of not seeing injustice right in front of me for my entire life.  I’ve never seen another person so much as being yelled at for being gay or black or muslim.  I’ve never seen people physically attacked and chosen to look the other way.  I’ve never known anyone to have their house or car damaged by another person just because of their skin color or their religious beliefs.  I’ve never been in the car with any of my black friends and seen any of these things happen to them.  But to believe that it’s not still happening is just ignorance on my part.

The people I know who have darker skin than mine are treated differently, though. They have dealt with microaggressions their entire lives.  People touch their hair.  Strangers invade their space and don’t treat them equally.  Small town white women call security when my black friend shows up to lead his training in their building.  I thought this was the level of racism we were dealing with in 2020. I believed it was just about the rude, insensitive comments people say out of ignorance or not having equal opportunity at the same job. I believed my part was to help educate my white friends on what not to say.  Now, I know it is so much more than that.  

 
“Racism is not getting worse, it’s getting filmed.”
— Will Smith
 


It’s not enough to just say their names. 

Know their stories … it’s a start.

George Floyd - Minneapolis, MN - 2020

Trayvon Martin - Miami Gardens, FL - 2012

Breonna Taylor - Louisville, KY - 2020

Ahmaud Arbery - Glynn County, GA - 2020

Tamir Rice - Clevelend, OH - 2014

Oscar Grant - Oakland, CA - 2009

Eric Garner - Staten Island, NY - 2014

Philando Castile - St Anthony, MN - 2016

Samuel Dubose - Cincinnati, OH - 2015

Sandra Bland - Waller County, Texas - 2015

Walter Scott - North Charleston, SC - 2015

Terrence Crutcher - Tulsa, OK - 2016

Regis Korchinski - Toronto, Canada - 2020

Tony McDade - Tallahassee, FL - 2020 

Coming to realization that this HAS ALWAYS HAPPENED is appalling.  It is awful and it leaves me speechless, feeling helpless and yet wanting to do my part to change it.  Just when I’m about to make a post, write a blog post or speak out publicly in any way, I see another account of how my gut response is incorrect.  Or not enough.  Or unwelcome.  So I don’t.  I walk away and say nothing.  At least I did before. 

Here I am a white girl from Texas saying

I am listening, I am learning, I’m speaking up, I’ll get it wrong, but I want to do my part.  

When I truly start to listen and learn, I’m quickly overwhelmed.  How much can one person do to change something so big?  Where does it end?  Black Lives DO Matter.  LBGQT deserve the same rights as anyone else.  Women should be treated equally as men.  Petitions to sign.  Go Fund Me accounts to donate toward.  Legislators to call.  This world of ours is a big fucking hot mess.  And it does make me want to hide away in the safety of my white privilege and ignore it all.  Only, what right do I have to do that when so many others don’t have that choice?

I wish I had written these words, but Edward Sparks did:

While I was taught equality, I hope to be able to teach my children to identify inequality, to speak against it, to vote against it, to take a stand with those affected, to pass on to their children what is right.

For me, a divorced mama trying to make a difference in the world, my influence has always felt small.  I can raise my four babies in a way that they seek out inequality and stand up for the bullied, the oppressed and ones in need. And they do.  All four of my children are vocal and compassionate.  They step in, speak up and protect their friends.  They care about people they don’t know.  They see differences and celebrate it all: skin color, religious views or sexual preferences and gender identities.  

My legacy in a small way has only ever been to leave the world a better place than I found it.  For years that felt like that only meant I would create four new lives who don’t see the world the same way I was raised to see it. I broke generational curses. All that bullshit I was born into slowed with me.  I learned to do better and I taught to be better. My children will go on to do even better than I have, but I’m not finished yet. 

Together, we can all make a difference.  We can make this world a better place and it starts with me and you.

If you want to know what you can do, here’s a helpful resource. 

Maybe you can start here …. 

Films and TV series to watch:

  • 13th (Ava DuVernay) — Netflix

  • American Son (Kenny Leon) — Netflix

  • Black Power Mixtape: 1967-1975 — Available to rent

  • Clemency (Chinonye Chukwu) — Available to rent

  • Dear White People (Justin Simien) — Netflix

  • Fruitvale Station (Ryan Coogler) — Available to rent

  • I Am Not Your Negro (James Baldwin doc) — Available to rent or on Kanopy

  • If Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins) — Hulu

  • Just Mercy (Destin Daniel Cretton) — Available to rent

  • King In The Wilderness  — HBO

  • See You Yesterday (Stefon Bristol) — Netflix

  • Selma (Ava DuVernay) — Available to rent

  • The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution — Available to rent

  • The Hate U Give (George Tillman Jr.) — Hulu with Cinemax

  • When They See Us (Ava DuVernay) — Netflix

Organizations to follow on social media:

Shaunna Lee http://www.shaunnalee.com
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