How I handled Coparenting with Covid
Coparenting together from two different houses can be a challenge in and of itself, but what do you do when covid hits one house and not the other? Let me tell you a tale of our experience …
It all started on a Tuesday with a request from the littles’ dad who wanted to take my son hunting Wednesday morning before school. This is a whole thing in Texas during hunting season & my son equally loves hunting and hockey. Normally, I would have insisted that this father/son bonding wait until the weekend, but I decided to practice what I preach and pick my battles. Instead of putting my foot down out of principle, I told him instead: I will take your lead on this one. I really do think it’s important in this coparenting relationship for us both to allow the other parent room to call the shots from time to time. But I digress.
Fast forward to the next day when Dad starts running a fever and goes to get his previously scheduled covid test (he had a weekend trip planned and everyone agreed to testing prior to getting together). Covid Positive.
Well, damn. After we all saw him Tuesday evening and my son spent the morning in a deer stand with him. So now my son has been exposed, the question becomes does he stay there or come home and possibly expose us all, if we weren’t already?
Here’s what I have learned:
No one really knows about this virus - even doctors disagree
Positive test results only after fever started for the two adults
10 days - is the quarantine wait after symptoms begin and/or exposure
Symptoms vary from person to person - cough, fever, congestion, chills, aches, headache, etc.
3 days - how long you need to be fever free to be deemed not contagious
Our Thanksgiving break from school didn’t go as planned. My daughter stayed with me and neither of us ever got sick. We isolated to minimize the risk to other people and thankfully, we stayed healthy. My son quarantined at Dad’s house and did show very minor symptoms, but never ran a full blown fever. The adults were hit much harder and now we are awaiting retesting results.
I will venture to guess that our experience isn’t all that rare. Did you see my “I’m so sad” post awhile back? It was beyond difficult for me to be away from my son when he had the potential of being very sick. The fear of the unknown was in full swing for me. I am so grateful that he wasn’t. I have never spent more than a week away from my littles since my divorce, so 14 days seemed like an eternity.
I missed my son like crazy. My daughter was so sad to not see her brother and her dad for so long - especially when we live so close. My son was devastated to miss his hockey tournament and even missed being here with us when given the chance to play video games nonstop for days on end. Their dad missed his baby girl and her sweet hugs.
We managed to do a few things that helped ease the angst and separation a bit:
We did a driveway visit several times where my son would sit at his bedroom window and we’d talk to him on the phone. As his voice came through the car speakers (thank you bluetooth), it was almost like a drive-in movie. Who am I kidding? It was not at all the same thing.
We dropped off treats every couple days to the Covid House. Meds with Pedialyte and Gatorade one day, Lemon pie or his XBOX another day. Kindness always wins and, for me, it was easier to wait when I can do something to help and didn’t feel quite so helpless.
FaceTime is a godsend when you can’t be in person. It’s not quite the same, but it does help to be able to see each other’s faces. We spent most of Thanksgiving video chatting with everyone we couldn’t be with. It did help a tiny bit.
I learned to vary my questions and use them sparingly. It gets old to answer “How are you feeling?” every single day for two weeks. Offers to help are better received than asking over and over again for an update that takes days for the status to change. Patience is not my virtue, but it was much needed while we waited.
All in all, I’m very grateful it wasn’t worse and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am eager to get back to our “normal” life where we share kids who bounce back and forth between two houses - together. Who knew I’d ever say THAT?