Leave the world prettier than you found it ...
We can come from nothing. We can be born into an ugly world and we can leave it better than we found it - but not by playing small.
There is a lesson I have learned time and time again, but it always leaving me feeling inspired and encouraged and in complete control. Don’t get me wrong, in the moment, it does not feel that way. In hindsight, though, that’s where it makes sense.
“I am not defined by my circumstances.”
When I found myself pregnant as a senior in high school, I was faced with a choice. You know the one that’s wildly debated in this country and will be polarizing and divisive even if discussed over wine with your girlfriends. What I understand now about that moment in my life has little to do with the choice that was made, though. It was the realization that we are not defined by our circumstances or where we come from. In many ways, I was a statistic, seen as nothing more than a teen pregnancy. I could have let that define me. Many do. I believed and still do to this day, that becoming a young mom would not limit me or my potential. Maybe I had to work harder, felt as if I had more to prove, but I was not going to be held to a different standard or expect less of myself because I was a baby raising a baby.
When I was a single mom, living alone for the first time in my life at 26 with my two small children, I could have believed the stories we all hear about single moms. I could have bought into the idea that it’s a life of struggling to pay your bills or that I couldn’t afford vacations. I could have believed this notion that I shouldn’t be happy because I needed to struggle and sacrifice and be the martyr for their happy childhood.
When I found myself divorced for the third time, just before my 40th birthday, my world felt like it was shattering all around me. I was working at a new company surrounded by YOUNG people just starting their careers when I was coming off a year at home with my fourth baby. I was familiar with all the ways I had played the part of a divorced, single mom hating her ex husband. I knew what it was like to carry hatred and fear with me day in and day out while putting on the brave, happy face for my children. I could have bought into that story about what it means to be a divorced mom, but here I was, once more, being given the chance to not be defined by my circumstances.
So you can become successful despite being pregnant as a teenager. You can work in corporate America, feeling as if you’re selling your soul in the name of sacrifice for your family for nearly two decades before you give yourself permission to branch out on your own. You can build a company from scratch in your 40s. You can earn more money than you ever dreamed possible after living a life of struggle. You can become happier than you’ve ever been even if you spend the first half of your life struggling just to survive. You can learn to coparent well, even if you’ve gotten it really, really wrong till now.
You have the choice to define your own story. Your happiness is within your control. You do have the power to define your future, even if you don’t know how it’s possible. If you need help, find it. We are living in the information age. There are no excuses to not know what you don’t know. How will you leave the world a better place than you found it? Not by playing small, that’s for sure.
When you’re ready to take that next big leap, let’s chat!