The best gift you can give your kids: Happier You

It’s that time of year when we are all searching for the perfect gift.

There are so many tidbits of wisdom I’ve gathered along the years, but if there is one thing I would love all moms to know it’s this. Your happiness matters.  It’s not just important for your personal benefit, but it’s so crucial to the wellbeing of your children.

We hear it packaged all sorts of ways: make time for self care, take time for yourself, be sure to exercise and spend time doing what you love.  Happy wife, happy life.  Ain’t nobody happy if Mama ain’t happy. But why don’t we actually believe it?

I’ve talked about meditation and letting go in my eBook because it’s so instrumental in creating the happiest version of yourselves.  When we take the time to put our happiness at the forefront of our day, it allows us to be the best mother to our children that we can be.  We show up in the best ways.

Meditation allows us to quiet our mind and hit pause on the to do list.  Meditation allows you to feel that overwhelming sense of wellbeing that is yours.  Letting go of all the bullshit stories we’ve heard and believe about what it means to be a great mom takes some pressure off.  Letting go of all the stupid obligations we put on ourselves that don’t actually matter free us up to have more time.  Letting go of the pressure to do more, be perfect or somehow attain this miraculous balance of doing All The Things allows us room to be ourselves and have some fun along the way.

If I could pass along one piece of wisdom it is this.  When you take time to make yourself a priority, you are actually doing this FOR your children.  

Think about the times you were happiest. You laughed more with your kids. Their jokes are funnier and you recognize the silly things they do as cute and not annoying.  You might dance your way through the Trail of Lights until they ask you to stop. Embarrassed preteens make me laugh. When you’re stressed and in a hurry, you can’t be bothered with the umpteenth story about Fortnite or My Little Pony.  

Somehow, we all get it.  That we need to take time to fill ourselves each day before we can tend to others, but why don’t we actually do it?

You know who i think does it really well? Jen Hatmaker. She is amazing and if you don’t already follow her, you should. She keeps it real and is honest about how hard motherhood can be, but she will often give you permission to suck at some things and let go of the ways you aren’t perfect in your own mind. She’s encouraging and hope-filled and she’s pretty stinkin funny, too! Give her a follow and thank me later.

Well, I can tell you from my own experience that when I have made time for myself, to feel good, happy and excited about my day, that it makes me more patient in the mornings. I look at my phone less and actually listen to their stories when we are together. I greet them with smiles and hugs instead of the hurried mom they used to get rushing to the next thing.  Putting myself first and insisting that my own happiness matters has actually made me a better mom. 

Don’t you think you owe it to your kids to do the same?